Are We Too Busy for Relationships?

Gen Y-ers are used to being this busy

Are we hooking up because we don’t have time to maintain serious romantic relationships, or even to date?

Generation Y is unarguably the most overscheduled generation in recent history. We spent our childhoods running between ballet and soccer practice, from gymnastics to piano lessons, from karate to boy scouts. Later, it was a matter of shuffling play rehearsals and SAT tutoring. Now, we find ourselves at classes one morning, campus jobs that afternoon, and our internship the next day. Where can we squeeze in a significant other?

In “Binge: What Your College Student Won’t Tell You,” author and longtime Time reporter Barrett Seaman stipulates that hooking up is simply easier than having a relationship. During our phone interview today, he elaborated:

“Maintaining a relationship takes work. There are ups and downs when you make a commitment. Your partner expects you to be at certain things, to be available and when you’ve got all these other things going on in your life, which you certainly do in college, that can become a drag or a distraction, at the very least. So, if you can get sexual gratification without having that burden, why not?”

Olivia, a Hamilton College junior, is evidence of Seaman’s claims.

“I don’t want a relationship where you have to spend every waking moment with the significant other and eat every meal with him and sleep over every night. I don’t have time for that. I have academics, extra-curriculars, and resume-building internships to worry about.”

But, people don’t get less busy after college. They may be balancing a lesser variety of things, but young professionals certainly aren’t spending hours curled up on their couches. Nonetheless, the vast majority of gen y-ers plan to get married in the decade following college. If we’ve never before put time into creating and nurturing a relationship, how will we learn to cultivate one that leads to marriage?

Virtual Internships Just Aren’t the Same

Is she at her internship?

When I came across “An Internship From Your Couch,” I did a bit of a double take. In retrospect, I’m not sure why an article about working from home was quite so shocking. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I read it while sitting at my desk, in my office, at my internship.

The article explains that while these so-called virtual internships are still relatively rare, internships during which students never meet their boss or enter an office are becoming increasingly common. They are most widespread in technology and software development, and social media.

A virtual internship in social media? Wouldn’t being social mean going in to the office?

I confess that virtual internships offer opportunities to those students who attend schools far from major cities. But, I also believe that these students should have considered this factor when choosing a college.

At my school, NYU, internships are the norm. People, in part, choose NYU because of all the internship opportunities New York City offers. I imagine the same is true for schools in Boston, D.C, L.A, etc.

Sure, I’ve learned about research and blogging at my internships. These are undoubtedly important things to know. But, my greatest learning experiences have come from simply being in the office. In the thick of things, I can begin to understand how a company functions. It’s in those unoccupied moments, those times when I just listen, that I often get a better idea of the big picture. How can you do that while perched in bed with a laptop?

The Perils of Internships

Look familiar?

Turns out, not everyone is gung-ho about post-graduate internships.

Yesterday, I spoke with Pamela Noel, the director of career services at NYU’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. She quickly proved herself my first source who strongly opposes post-grad internships. She suggests that students consider freelancing after college rather than interning.

Noel also touched on a theme that has come up in several of my interviews: the phenomenon of unpaid internships in journalism. Speaking in terms of undergraduates, she said,

“There is much debate out there about how unpaid internships generally, whether it’s during the academic year, while you’re earning your degree or afterward, pushing your industry into a realm where it can only be avoided by people who have money anyway. And, whether you feel pro or con about it, you can’t dispute that some of that is happening.”

Let’s face it: magazine work isn’t anyone’s get rich quick scheme. But, until very recently, publications such as Newsday and those housed under the Condé Nast umbrella gave their interns some compensation. Now, they require academic credit. This means that not only are magazines not paying interns, but interns are paying their universities for course credit. During the fall and spring semesters, students often have enough credit that they can work in internships for no extra cost. This is not the case over the summer, something I know all too well.

Interns need something for their piggy banks

Last summer, I had the following conversation an innumerable amount of times:

Person X: What are you doing for the summer?

Me: I’m an editorial intern at Seventeen.

Person X: [impressed] Wow, that’s awesome! Do you love it?

Me: Yeah, it’s great! The people are wonderful and I’m learning so much.

Person X: Do they pay you?

Me: Nope.

Person X: Oh, that sucks.

Me: Actually, my parents are paying the university $1000 for me to intern.

Person X: That’s absurd.

Jim O’Brien, the director of career services at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism echoed Noel’s concerns. Although he is unsure whether the number of internships has increased, O’Brien has seen a transition from paid to unpaid internships, a phenomenon which he calls “disturbing, but understandable at the moment.”

Both Noel and O’Brien hope that as the economy improves, more paid journalism internships will emerge. But, as Noel wisely asks, “can that happen before the business model catches up and figures out how to make media pay again?”

Her Campus Hits the Web

Two of the lovely, wonderful, UPenn girls with whom I interned this summer are now writers for Her Campus. The site, which launched today, is billing itself as “a collegiette’s guide to life.” (I find this feminizing pun rather clever myself). The online magazine is targeting college age girls with national and local content about style, health, love, dorm life, and the world.

Jessica

Since it was founded by three Harvard students, Her Campus first “My Campus” branch is fittingly at Harvard. But, founders Stephanie Kaplan, Windsor Hanger, and Annie Wang see Her Campus expanding to provide specific content to 1000+ colleges and universities worldwide.

Katie

I can only vouch for the two lovely ladies I know, Jessica Goldstein and Katie Sanders. That said, Her Campus boasts a catchy design and relevant, interested content. Like College Candy, perhaps its main competitor, Her Campus strives to fill the niche between Seventeen and Cosmopolitan. No one seems particularly eager to fill this gap with a print publication. Perhaps in acknowledgement of our limited budgets, fickle taste and embrace of online content, these half magazine, half blogs are sticking to the internet.